So in this video I'm going to share with you that are really challenging idea.
All right.
And this idea interconnects authenticity.
And connection.
And another of the major conflicting set of values that we stand to potentially face in life in fact
potentially face in life you will face in life.
In fact it's a pretty good chance if you haven't already faced this problem or experienced or work food
at some point in your past you are definitely going to some point in your future.
And this is a connection between authenticity and connection.
No as we've already discussed authenticity is about the choice that we make to exercise our freedom.
Take a risk just to simply be true to who we are.
But we are all brought into the world by other people.
We have no say in this process.
We don't determine who our parents are and we don't determine the culture that we're brought up in.
No the culture that were brought up in I and our family are bringing employees such a huge crucial role
on the development of our beliefs and the values that we want to prioritize the most.
All of this happens on an unconscious level so you can talk about this in a rational level with some
people but they're not going to understand that.
Right they're going to be some people that don't even understand what I'm talking about right here.
Right.
One of those reasons may be because I'm speaking too fast because I'm Scottish.
Other people wouldn't understand that because they've never gone this deep before.
But this is life coaching and this is all about life.
This is what drives us as human beings.
So understanding this stuff is absolutely imperative if you are taking life coaching seriously as a
future potential career.
No.
Have you ever been involved in the world of business.
Business development marketing.
Have you ever heard the term personal branding or gone back quite a number of years ago.
I was involved with a marketer a marketer who approached me and he said Kane I would like to help you
with your marketing.
I believe that I could help you tap into our whole new audience and I said absolutely.
Back then I didn't have online courses like this developed the hunt and even considered that this would
be a viable option let alone financially sustainable.
So back then I was still focussed solely on the one on one coaching model.
So by the way any single case tell me Kane who is your ideal client and I said Well my ideal client
can be anyone really anyone who's willing to half mature respectful on an honest conversation.
That's said that's their standard that's just the rules.
Anyone who's pen appreciative and receptive to new information that's the standard.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
That's nice.
That's that's kind of late in an ideal world.
Practically I mean who is your ideal client of the 28 year old guys or are the business executives.
I mean what or what group of people would you like to work with.
Because the terms how much money are you going to make.
I didn't want to accept this.
You see this marketing professional
tried his very hardest to make me believe or help me to understand his view on the world and business
was was correct.
The main was was it was incorrect and he went on to explain was that if I want to get ahead in life
and in business it's imperative that I develop a personal brand and this personal brand is about the
Forsyth the persona that I want my future clients and the rest of the world to see.
So it's the image that I want to present to the world.
So he said so cange you want to be a professional business coach because if you want to be a professional
professional business coach then you're going to have to you know change the way you dress you have
to wear your suits and shirts and ties and how you communicate is going to have to be like this and
like that.
And I really struggle with this on so many levels.
I didn't want to believe that this was true.
But then I didn't understand fully nor appreciate the power of authenticity you see back then that marketer
suggested to me that if I wanted to connect with people who were willing to part ways with their money
in exchange for my time I was going to have to sacrifice my authenticity and become someone that I wasn't
or pretend that I was someone that I wasn't and that wasn't something that I was ever wiling to do.
Recently a few months ago I hired an absolutely.
Breaking conversation with a family member whom I love.
And over the last 10 years I have changed.
I have grown and I am not the same person that I was Smith who I am at the core is still the same.
But my awareness of who this person is has changed 100 forward because I am no more aware of who I am.
I act in accordance with who this person actually is today.
I don't need to act in accordance with what makes other people comfortable around me.
Today I don't need to keep other people happy.
You see growing up I can remember mom and dad they would have arguments quite frequently.
And my prospective risk was there.
He would see your son.
When you get married some day the best thing you can do is just hodja.
We should.
And keep the woman happy sort of translate that in case you're not Scottish hoda you reached a translated
into modern and contemporary English means remain quiet and do everything within your power to keep
the member of the opposite sex with whom you are connected through marriage happy.
Don't be yourself and keep other people happy.
Or you could translate that as be false and people please.
Or you could translate that as deceive other people into thinking that you actually care about them
just to keep the peace and fundamentally get what you want.
No that certainly wasn't okay with me.
This See the advice I was given of my father at a very young age.
Not that he gave me much.
The old guy didn't even teach me how to shave I had to learn that the hard way through my big Corporal
Samuel between and and the British Army and he was not particularly graceful let me tell you that of
one I suggested was that I should choose connection and life over authenticity that I should sacrifice.
Being who I actually am just to manage and maintain the connection with other people.
That's all key.
If you want to live a completely other authentic life but that's not okay if you value freedom and you
want to make progress.
Because if you value freedom and you want to progress in life the only way you're ever going to be able
to do those things is by being authentic taking risks and sometimes being prepared to leave people behind.
Some words come back to this conversation that I had with this family member this family member pointed
out to me that since coming back from the Iraq war in 2003.
I've been a different person.
I'm not the same person as what I was and this family member as is pointing out the problem that I'm
not the same person that I was when I was 16 years old.
I don't have the maturity or the mentality of a 16 year old anymore and I have the maturity level and
the mentality of a 3 7 year old man whatever that means not that maturity is a sign of age is a sign
of a person's willingness to assume full responsibility for the life.
And by now I'm sure you know that it's taken all of that.
Well if you want what I'm saying here is that at some point in the future if you haven't already had
to make this choice you're going to have to make is going down this road this pathway of self discovery
and life is all about you becoming more aware of who you are.
And if you choose to exercise your authenticity which is your free will you know that's your freedom
to choose.
By the way then you're going to become different for other people.
In fact the people that you may have been close with in the past you're no longer going to be as close
with some people are going to say things to you along the lines of you.
I just don't feel like we're as Clausus what we used to be.
And you know on so many levels.
That's so true.
Because while some people commit to growing up a maturing a life other people choose to commit to a
life of security and staying the same.
Don't take risks you see even you.
And watching this video right now if you're persevering with this course if you're persisting in persevering
with me if you're actually listening to the stuff then there's no way that you're not being impacted
by this from somewhere.
Because not holding anything back here and be as honest as what I physically know how to.
Which means I am put in authenticity and honesty before your preference.
I know that you know in life the one thing that offends people the most is honesty because most people
are mature enough to embrace it.
So if you are watching this video right now and you're still with me and you haven't turned off yet
congratulations.
You're one of the few who is mature enough to embrace truth.
But not all people are.
There are many people who are going to come to you for life coaching.
You're going to have friends from the past even family members who aren't going to understand the path
that you're on.
No because they've never taken it which means the won't understand that nor appreciate it which means
they are going to see in you is deference and because they know see you as their friends.
This conflicts with them because they were you same where are you most likely viall you prioritize freedom
over security.
They most likely don't which means that unless they choose to go down the same path you're going down.
Realistically you may never able to connect with them in the same way as what you may potentially have
previously done before in the past.
Unfortunately this is life.
I once heard an all mantra of mine give reference to relationships and quite a funny way he said you
know your life is kind of like a bar and buyers are great when they're empty.
The macing clean but as soon as you let the animals know what the animals bring in.
Shit.
And if you're dealing with people then you are dealing with shit.
And this is kind of yes right.
But you know this road you're going to have to become pretty effective at dealing with shit and the
way that you're going to be able to do this is by being and becoming completely authentic and becoming
clear on what your values and what your priorities are.
So to better understand and mileage by the people to manage their expectations.
Some people are going to come to you want an A best friend and you can't be that person for everyone.
Some people are going to come to you wanting you to give them absolutely everything they're going to
come and give you some money wanting and expecting you to fix their lives and make their problems go
away.
And here's a thing we understand that maturity in life comes through acceptance of responsibility.
So you can only help other people come to the same realization.
If you go there first which means being authentic seeing yes for the things that you want to see yes
to see not the things that are okay with you sometimes.
Seem yes to people.
But then sometimes letting people go.
It's imperative that you understand that when it comes to connection people were only ever going to
remain connected to you when they're getting what they want from you.
And when you're being who they want you to be whoever that person is is going to be make them feel comfortable
in some way.
But people are like animals that bring shit.
People will blow into your life when they see that they're not going to get what they want from you.
They're going to blow up and then they're going to blow out.
And this is his life.
There's no way around this.
Most people are fundamentally selfish and you're just going to have to get better at dealing with their
son.
Tell me the truth here to help you manage your expectations.
Right.
Life Coaching is a fascinating journey a life coach in my experience has been the ultimate journey of
self discovery.
You've possibly heard the saying in the past the iron sharpens iron.
And this is so true.
You are.
I am.
And the more iron that you rob up against guess what the shark you're going to become.
So understanding you understand this stuff is going to set you ahead.
And apart from most other people because most people were never willing or prepared to go this deep
what I'm doing my best to work towards you know in terms of legacy in golden years is them get these
online courses to the stage where Jenner in watching come.
They've got a team of people that can take care of all the admin stuff so that I don't need to.
So that eventually at some point in the future.
Unable to host Live training events for people like you who fundamentally just want to get this stuff
you know to be honest to you remember in the early stages of my life coaching endeavours writing Tony
Robbins in email highs of course the guy's never going to get on one level what fundamentally Haupt
is that you know what.
I'm taking this stuff so serious it may extend a little bit of grace.
No it was like we never saw the email and I never heard back goin back around about nine months ago.
There was a young guy called Davids who got in contact with me and he'd watched our course.
Then I created or an assertiveness around and said Kane I've just watched your course and it makes sense
to me and saw many different levels.
I don't know anyone else who is communicating like gless.
I don't have anyone to speak to about this stuff.
You know this is a long shot.
Would you be willing to have a conversation with me.
Was there.
And has fundamentally the reason why I'm doing everything that I'm doing to connect with people in a
meaningful way and I'm hoping that this course is connecting and resonate with you.
I'm hoping at some point in the future I don't know who you are or where you are that we meet.
And then you see our cane was you know watching that life coaching course you'd done the above all about
connection and authenticity and that just resonated with me.
And then I was hooked.
Thank you so much and also you all are fantastic.
Is there any other way that I can help you.
Is there any other way that I can Gav.
Is there any other way that I can serve how better can I serve you because I guess when you reach the
stage in life where you have you've exhausted all other options you know you have your realize that
you know having all the money in the world all the stuff all the materialistic things isn't doing it
for full year it's not going to give you more contentment and more peace you kind a real nice this.
All that's left for us to do in life is just to give.
It's actually giving it a life that gives us fulfilment.
You're most people in life pursue happiness you're most likely read the book or watched a film I think
there was art Well Smith form at some point in the past in the pursuit of happiness.
And this is the path that most people would own.
This is the reason why many people were going to come to you to help them find happiness but happiness
is all about getting.
Queer for fulminant comes through giving.
So the cut this story short.
David we got in touch.
I said yes.
I give him time and nine months later David has just finished translating the second of my courses into
Spanish.
So he's now taken this stuff and presenting it to a whole new audience and he gets to make a living
from self and his family as part of the process.
What are awarding way to live life.
I have an invite because of Steptoe and faith are two gorecki took a chance.
I choose to be authentic and I give some people some stuff.
This is fundamentally all that you're really going to be able to do as well.
So at one level the section of the Course is all about you understanding other was driving other people
but it's also about you understanding what's driving you.
I'm not finished yet.
I've got one or two more distinctions that I'd like to make before wrap this section up and introducing
to you to work with them I've created for you.
The core values work but Governor would strongly urge you to to share with those that you go into court
to help them understand and a slightly deeper level what it is that fundamentally drives them to so
wrap this video up for an hour and take a few moments to ponder what we're going to be sharing with
you next because honestly it's been authentic here.
I'm taking a risk and really make this section of a go slow for a senior in a few moments.